Mason Pickett

The Bondi Administration, 1, has passed away. (4/2/2026)

The Pam Bondi Administration, 1, of Washington, passed away suddenly after months of declining health in Washington. The family would like to thank Prince Andrew, Donald Trump, Les Wexner, Bill Clinton, and many others, especially the Rich N' Famous, for their support during her final days.

The Pam Bondi Administration was born on February 4, 2025, to parents Donald Trump and Matt Gaetz, who abandoned the family before her birth. As a child, she loved to boast about her grades, that she stole from her older cousin, The Merrick Garland Administration. She graduated valedictorian from Chester D. Molester High School and went on to attend ASS University, where she obtained her Masters in Corruption (MC) degree.

She went to work for the government, where she met her loving husband, Kash Patel, and they wed on February 20, 2025. One, beautiful child came from the marriage: Redactions, who they welcomed to the family on December 19, 2025.

She will be remembered fondly by all the cashiers in the Washington, D.C., metropolitan area who sold her dozens, if not hundreds of sharpies over her life. The family has asked that this specific detail be removed from the obituary, but we are keeping it anyways.. Governments, after all, aren't perfect, so why should they be expected to never make a mistake. Besides, it's not the worst that could've happened. Bill Clinton argued what the definition of "is" is, and he was not at all innocent.

She is predeceased by the many lives she "touched" along the way, and she is survived by her parents Donald Trump (Melania), of Washington; Matt Gaetz (Ginger), of Fort Walton Beach, Florida; and her beloved child, Redactions (Rapists), of Justice.gov. 

Funeral services are pending courtesy of W.E.R. Kerrupt Mortuary. Interment will be at Little St. James Memorial Park. In lieu of flowers, please donate to your local Federation Against Epstein Victims chapter.

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